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What I've Been Talking About This Week

I find it interesting to notice that sometimes my conversations in therapy, with vastly different people and circumstances, seem to circle around themes on occasion. This week, I've noticed two topics that I am repeatedly seeing in session:

1. Men who have become "awake" to their own conflicts, problem behaviors and thinking and have made radical steps to be fuller, more peaceful people. Some have partners that are whole enough people themselves who rejoice in the change, and despite years of distance, hurt and resentments, fight along with their men to restore and renew their partnership. Others have partners who are too fragile, conflicted or hurt that the reversal appears like an "act" and feel the need to flee. Whatever the result, their is great Joy in the awakening, and it's a pleasure to keep giving these new men feedback on their personal discoveries.

2. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. If there is a personality style that kills a marriage slowl…

You Gotta Have Hope

It's true that all we have is the now. Every moment, lived now, is how we put together a life. Living our mental time too much in the past, or too far into the future, is a sure fire recipe for suffering.

In a previous post I wrote about a few important aspects of changing our body experience in the present: focusing on actions we can take to change our inner world: good nutrition, daily exercise, quieting the mind through prayer, ritual, or meditation, and focusing our time on mutual, healthy relationships.

Here I'd like to talk about the mental attitude of hopefulness, a necessary ingredient to creating a more positive outcome to our efforts toward change.

Have you ever noticed that while you are in that awful process of really being sick with an infection or injury, trying to decide whether to make an appointment or get to an urgent care center, the anxiety about your situation amplifies your suffering? In the same way, I wonder if you have noticed that once y…

Video: Joni Mitchell – In Concert (live at the BBC 1970)

This is the voice of my life's soundtrack. Thank you, Joni. You'll sing our lives forever. 

Video: Joni Mitchell – In Concert (live at the BBC 1970) | That Eric Alper

Sex and Marriage : An Expert

Esther Perel is a renown Belgian sex therapist with a passion for understanding sexuality and long term, committed relationships.

In her TED talk, Perel speaks of the the difference between love and desire, and the conflict we have as human beings between being safe, secure and needed by a partner, versus the mystery, attraction and freedom that fuels passion.

 It is a perfect message for Valentine's Day. Enjoy.



Losing Our Religion: The Growth Of The 'Nones' : NPR

"...and so I think the single most important reason for the rise of the Unknowns is that combination of the younger people moving to the left on social issues and the most visible religious leaders moving to the right on that same issue." Great intro into the new series on NPR on the growing numbers of people with "no religious affiliation"

Losing Our Religion: The Growth Of The 'Nones' : The Two-Way : NPR